It’s interesting the way each of us experience significant life events differently
We put them through our filters, defined by our personalities, upbringings, attitudes and attach different meanings to them.
The way I respond to my (fictional) Aunt Joan dying might be totally different to the way my brother responds. To me she was a mentor, she was there for me when I needed someone, and she crocheted me some great hats. For my brother she was a formidable dragon, she hit him once with a wooden spoon after he took her wheelchair for a spin down the road and he was terrified of her,
That’s why I encourage you to be honest about your feelings in your memoir. One day it might explain some things to your family, for example my brother’s kids might finally understand why he didn’t like the name Joan, and he never let them play on wheelchairs!
How do you feel about the people you mention in your story? What were your experiences of them? What did they teach you? Who were they to you? Perhaps you had mixed feelings about them? If you did, write that.
It’s all ok to write, there’s no wrong or right thing to share. This is your story.
One man I wrote a book for adored his father, so he wrote a book based around his father’s diaries, one of the key reasons being that this was his way of introducing his beloved, gentle father to his daughters.
Another lady I wrote a book for wasn’t so close to her siblings as an adult, but was when they were children. So she wrote about that time, her happy memories of all the adventures they shared together as a pack of marauding children growing up in the country.
Another woman I wrote about was lovingly raised by a nanny, but not all all close to her mother. In fact, her mother was cruel to her nanny. This shaped the rest of her life, leading to my client’s fight for racial equality in America.
It all matters, because it shaped you, and your story is your family’s history.
So write on.
Charlotte x
For those who are interested in working with me, here are three ways you can:
- You can enrol in my online course Write Your Memoir, which guides you through the entire memoir writing process and connects you with other students. This coming Wednesday we’re meeting online with the theme ‘when you feel like giving up.’ We have guest speaker and student of my course Jill Armstrong-Wood, who just finished her book, speaking.
- You can buy a one-on-one coaching package with me, where I personally guide you through your memoir journey in 5 meetings. Email me if you’re interested: charlottesquirecoms@gmail.com
- My team and I can edit and design your story into a finished book that you can hold in your hands. Email me to talk about it: charlottesquirecoms@gmail.com
Charlotte Squire 