Kia ora *|FNAME|*
It’s nice to pop into your world today, and exciting to welcome you newbies to my (mostly) weekly memoir chat. I’d love to know how you found me (considering how little marketing I’ve been doing lately)! If you want to explore a few years of memoir tips, pop into my blog.
The older we get, the more likely it is that we’ve learned a few life lessons along the way. Some are easier to learn than others. Sigh.
When I look back at my life I can see them, those lessons I learned, stretching out, all the way back to my early years out in the wild west of Rockville, Golden Bay.
I remember, aged around four, convincing my mother to let me call the phone switchboard for my small, rural community (This was in the days of shared phone lines). The phone operator couldn’t hear the number I was asking her to connect us to.
“What!?” she demanded, her voice booming down the phone line and piercing my already shaky confidence. “Speak louder! Are you allowed to be on the phone?”
It was all too much. I burst into tears and handed the phone to Mum (who was a nurse, and excelled at looking calm in all dire situations, and this was surely very dire?). It took me a few decades but I learned to speak clearly when asking people for what I needed.
Decades later, I remember struggling with my mental health through my first year at Massey University. Everything was so new and scary and I knew no one. I got lost all the time, missed home, and despite trying hard, found myself only just scraping through at my studies. I felt sadder and sadder, and I hid it. It wasn’t until I finished my degree and moved home to the top of the South Island that I learned the key to managing my mental health was to be honest about my feelings, with myself and people around me.
How about you? What lessons have you had to learn, so as not to sink? Or perhaps you did sink for a while, but you found your own way to swim?
These life lessons are incredibly valuable, and are worth sharing, especially wrapped in honest stories. They help readers get to know you, the real you.
If you’d like to share around 200 from your memoir about an important life lesson you learned, email me (with your permission to potentially share it with our amazing memoir writing community). I’d love to hear from you.
Speaking of sharing your words, last month I asked you to share some love stories (in honour of Valentine’s Day). Ineke sent me this heart tugging piece (trigger warning, this contains mention of suicide):
Love Songs
The ABBA song I have a dream reminds me of romantic times because it evokes the weekends I drove the two-hours from Mokopane to Secunda to visit my future husband. The dream of my life as they sang it. Everything looked and sounded romantic at that time before we got married. Late Sunday night, on the way home, I played the song over and over again.
Green-eyed Angel
While we were still dating, he recorded it on a tape and sent it to me. I played it over and over again – while hanging the washing or doing my chores. My eyes can be green at times, and that’s what fascinated him. It all depended on how I felt and also what colour clothes I was wearing.
Some broken hearts
This was also a beloved song that made me homesick when I heard it. As our relationship was shaky at times, the song gave meaning to being together. Even today, I can say, My love for you will never die.
Don Williams was never, and still isn’t, the most popular singer to me, but Some Broken Hearts still breaks my heart, and I miss my husband.
We got married in 1980, and my husband committed suicide in 1993. It’s now 2026.
How did that story land with you? I could just imagine Ineke’s green eyes changing with her moods and can totally relate to the way some songs take her right back to those moments. I’m also in awe of Ineke’s honesty about her husband and her memories of and love for him.
I hope that you can be honest in your memoir too.
Write on dear one,
Charlotte x
PS if you’d like support to write and publish your story, there are several ways my team and I can help. 1. You can do my year-long memoir programme (I’m working on building the best value memoir course in New Zealand I reckon I’m getting there) and receive well over 40 email lessons guiding you through the journey of writing your story. 2. We can edit and publish your book for you. 3. And we can even write your book for you. Just hit reply to this email and let me know if you’d like to talk about it.
Charlotte Squire 